10 Ways to Parent with Purpose

10 ways to parent with purpose

Parenting with Purpose.

Isn’t that what we all want to do?  To be intentional, responsive, and proactive in our relationships with our children.   The thing is … that’s hard.  I mean, what does it look like?  And especially what does it look like in the midst of the daily chaos in our homes?

10 ways to parent with purposeHow do we walk that line between “Don’t Provoke” and “Do Instruct”?

Here are 10 ways to parent with purpose:

  1. Don’t do those things that drive your kids crazy!!   Sounds simple, but really … if he hates it when you call him by a pet name in front of his peers, don’t do it.
  2. Do speak well of your children.   Do it in front of them … let them hear you (or overhear you) sharing what you love about them.
  3. Don’t nag.  Just like this doesn’t work with your husband, it won’t work with your kids.
  4. Do remember this:  A gentle answer turns away wrath but harsh words stir up anger.  Proverbs 15:1.   Let that be a guide for your words and tone when you are disciplining your kids.
  5. Don’t spend all your time focusing on behavior!   Keep in mind that your kids are just that – kids!  There are things they will outgrow.   Of course we need to teach them acceptable behavior but don’t allow your home to be a place where they are constantly being corrected.
  6. Do spend a lot of time emphasizing character!  Take advantage of every opportunity to instruct your children and shape their character.
  7. Don’t try to change their personalities!  All children are different.  Trying to fit your child into a mold will not work!   Embrace what makes each one unique.
  8. Do challenge them to strengthen their weaknesses.  If your child struggles with laziness, it is your privilege and responsibility to teach them time management and self-discipline.   We must not allow our children to use their areas of weakness as an excuse for poor character or poor behavior.
  9. Don’t neglect being a parent for the sake of being a friend.  Your child needs you to be his or her mom!  They need you to be firm, consistent, and loving.
  10. Do be a friend to your child.  My wise friend Kristen wrote a great post about this a few weeks ago … she challenged me in this area.  I encourage you to read it and take it to heart.   We can be parents and friends with our children.

Parenting with purpose isn’t for the weak at heart.  It requires far more energy than most of us have on any given day.   The only way to do it is through the Lord at work in us.   Perhaps this verse will be an encouragement for you in this endeavor:

Those who fear the Lord are secure; he will be a place of refuge for their children.  Proverbs 14:26 NLT

When we parent with purpose, we point our children to the perfect Parent!  Is there any greater gift we can give them?

What are your ideas for parenting with purpose?

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15 Replies to “10 Ways to Parent with Purpose”

  1. This is great, TeriLynne! I especially like #1–some kids are sensitive to certain things that other kids aren’t. We have to watch out for that.

    I wrote a series on this very topic a couple of years ago. Here’s the link in case you’re interested: http://www.shellywildman.net/2010/05/intentional-parenting-just-in-case-you.html

    1. Thanks, Shelly! I’m off to read your post.

  2. Sarah @ Spoon Fed Baby says: Reply

    I like #5….spending more time on the postive things they do is time well spent, rather than what they are doing wrong. Great list 🙂
    Sarah @ Spoon Fed Baby recently posted…Top 10: Swaddle LoveMy Profile

    1. Sarah, yes … focusing on their strengths and gently encouraging them in their weaknesses is the best plan! Thank you for stopping by.

  3. Really great post Teri! Thanks. Love, Traci

  4. Love these tips. I find I have to constantly be reminding myself of what I should and shouldn’t be doing. It’s so easy to get caught up in the daily grind and then I find myself forgetting!

    1. Yes … the daily grind. It wears us down, doesn’t it? So hard to maintain focus. {I love the wisdom of Ann Voskamp on refocusing throughout the day.}

  5. Gentleness. Oh, this has been a big one in my house–my heart lately. My Lydia is so sensitive to when I raise my voice or get aggravated at her. (Did you see my Motherhood Your Way post? She threw a scripture back at me!) Anywhoo. Yes, I needed that reminder of Proverbs 15:1.

    Thanks for linking up this fabu post!
    a

    1. I did see that, Amanda! And I can relate … my girl is my own personal Jiminy Cricket. 🙂

  6. Awww friend, thanks so much for the mention. I’m honored you, Mama Extraordinaire, would think to include me!

    I am about to finish Dr. Kimmel’s Grace Based Parenting, and your beautiful words here move so beautifully in tandem with his book. *You* are a fantastic, grace-filled parent, and this go-to list beautifully encourage all us moms *and* dads! Thank you, darling!
    Kristen@Chasing Blue Skies recently posted…How You Know There Is a Light at the End of the TunnelMy Profile

    1. Girl! That post has haunted me … and challenged me and inspired me. And yes, I LOVE Grace-Based Parenting. It’s on the Resources list for this week.

  7. Melanie {adorkable} says: Reply

    This is fantastic. I will prayerfully apply these tips to my life whenever I am blessed to enter into parenthood.

    1. Thank you, Melanie! What a blessing to have you visit my blog today.

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