Oh girl!! I wish you were here with me right now. I’m on my third cup of coffee and fighting a monster of a headache. This morning I managed {barely!} to keep my cool when my 13-going-on-25 year old daughter yelled at me because her hair wouldn’t go into a ponytail the way she wanted. As I brushed through the tangled mess of hair, she cried and I wanted to.
We’ve had more bad days than good lately, this girl and her mom. She snaps at me and I want to snap back {I do snap back more than I’d care to admit}. It doesn’t get easier, this parenting gig. My friend Natalie always says the stakes just keep getting higher. I cry and I complain. I drink more coffee and eat more ice cream. And she keeps growing up and I keep wondering what happens at the end.
If you were here, we could swap horror stories … not about our kids, but about us. About the times we weren’t kind, the moments that lacked grace, the days we really {really!!!} wanted to run away. Because the thing about those stories is this, we didn’t quit. As much as we wanted to, we didn’t. We can’t. These kids with their snotty noses and even more snotty attitudes, they are the most beautiful things we’ve ever seen.
The toddler years didn’t kill me … and even though it feels like they might, I’m pretty sure the teenage years won’t kill me either. Neitzsche said, “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” I don’t think he was talking about adolescence but I bet his mother heard him say that as an adult and thought, “You better believe it, boy!”
Today, I’m taking Tylenol and drinking coffee. This morning was rough and the truth is, this afternoon, when I pick her up from school, well, it could go either way. But we’ll make it, my girl and me. And so will you! We’ll love these little people who drive us to the brink of crazy and one day we’ll look back and think, “I sure wouldn’t want to do all that again!”
But for this day, for this moment, know this … the God of all creation loves you and you are doing a great job!
Check out the Dear Weary Mom linkup at the new Hope for the Weary Mom blog {where I am thrilled to be a contributor!} and find all sorts of great encouragement!
Nope they don’t kill you (proud mama to a 17 & 19 year old)… but they do tend to prolong the moments in between breaths…
LOVE it!! 🙂
Oh girl, but I have a toddler and a teenager! Can you pass the coffee?
So grateful to walk with you through these weary days!
xo.
Sweet friend, how I love you! Yes, coffee … and laughing … and prayer, so much prayer!!
And then there is that day when you hear your baby-girl-turned-mother say “My mother was right about _________” and you really and truly exhale and know that it was worth those tears and headaches. Trust me! {There might be a sly smile the day you hear her unload about how her children are doing the same things that made you hold your breath. *might be*}
🙂
Dear Weary Mom,
Your son/daughter needs you more now than ever…but they need you to be the adult. They need you to rise above the fray and not engage them on their level…seek to bring them to your (more mature) level.
Remember that their world is much smaller than yours, so the problems that seem minute to you (the ponytail that doesn’t look just right) is actually much bigger in their world. Don’t dismiss their struggles just because they would be trivial in your world. Additionally, remember that the seemingly inconsequential problem may simply be a symptom of a much larger issue – and if you shut them down in the little areas, they will lose confidence in you and not consult you in the bigger ones.
So, remember….more is at stake than hair or clothes or whatever the crisis du jour happens to be. You are parenting for the long haul and what you plant in your relationship today will be reaped tomorrow, and next month, and next year.
Remember…the days are long but the years are short. Enjoy every maddening minute!
Blessings to each of you!
*Lest you think I’ve mastered ANY of the above advise…just ask my kids…I’m still working on “practicing what I preach”.
Oh Natalie, I love you and I miss you. Thank you for being such a wise voice in my life. Your friendship is such a gift.
As weary as I get having two teens 15 months apart, those two have at times, been my only reason for getting out of bed. They have been the reason to dry my tears and get through one more day. They have been the ones God uses to work out patience and humility in my life and they also have been the ones who remind me that as a parent, you can’t just tell your kids to do it because Jesus says so, you my friend have to walk it yourself and then they know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they can do it and Jesus loves them because they see His love in you. They are worth every tear, every struggle, every sleepless night. Guess that also reminds me of God’s love for this weary girl of His.
Teenage boys and girls in this house. Toddler/preschool boys and girls too. Plus all the ones in the middle who think they were created to pester everyone. And a newborn. I have actually questioned God’s sanity this last week. Yes, I said sanity, not sovereignty! I can say that potty training will eventually happen, and the pestery age will be outgrown. Not sure exactly how this teenage thing is going to end, but I know that the same fire God is taking me through, my teen is going through as well. So I am enjoying being refined together. At least, that’s what I repeat to myself when it gets REALLY hard!!
LOVE THIS: the God of all creation loves you and you are doing a great job!
I don’t have a teenage daughter, but I have a “too cool for school”, know it all 10 yr old boy. oy
Thank you, Stef! I always think about that line in “Sleepless in Seattle” when Tom Hanks tells his date his son is 10 and she says, “He’s good at it.” Bless you!! 🙂