28 Days, 28 Ways: Speak Kind Words

Thanks for joining me again today. We’re on day 4 of 28 Days, 28 Ways: Investing in Your Marriage. If you’ve missed any of the previous posts, you can find them indexed here.

28 Days 28 Ways: Investing In Your Marriage || TeriLynneUnderwood.com

A few years ago, I was studying the biblical idea of submission. One of the concepts I learned during that time was that submission is rooted in being polite. At the time I asked myself and others a big question:

What if submission begins with simply being polite?

The fact is, we live in a very rude world. Common courtesy is a quickly disappearing notion. And while it might be easier to bemoan its lacking, I believe we do more to draw others to Christ when we embody kindness, courtesy — when we are simply polite.

It seems so simple. Advice from our mothers and grandmothers, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”  And we’re pretty good at following it with most people. Unfortunately, “most people” often doesn’t include our husbands.

Today, I’m inviting you to be different. To take seriously the words of Paul to the Ephesians,

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you. {4:32 ESV}

And, I am challenging you to let that kindness begin with the way you speak to your husband.  This isn’t just about the words we say but also the way we say them. {And the four husbands reading said, “Amen!}

Speak Kind Words || TeriLynneUnderwood.com

But today isn’t just about how you speak TO your husband but also how you speak ABOUT him.

Does it really matter how you speak about your husband? Emphatically I answer YES! It. Really. Really. Matters. If you allow yourself to develop the habit of speaking badly about your spouse to others, you will {not might, WILL!} end up speaking unkindly TO him as well.  I recently read a post by Michael Hyatt concerning the importance of speaking well of your spouse.  One of his reasons was this:

Affirmation shifts your attitude toward your spouse. Words are powerful tools. They can create, or they can destroy. They can build up, or they can tear down. I believe most people have a drive to align their actions—and their attitudes—with their words. If you start speaking well of someone, you start believing what you say.

If you struggle to speak {or think!} kindly about your husband, begin speaking well of him. As you actively seek ways to affirm him to others, you will find your heart tendered toward him.  I’m not saying it’s going to be easy. But I do believe it’s worth it!

Today, speak kind words … to him and about him! Look for ways to affirm your man. You will bless him and be blessed yourself.

And, just for practice in that speaking well of him thing, go ahead and leave a comment sharing one of the amazing things about your husband!

Cheering you on,
Teri Lynne

{You might also want to check out my post, 10 Ways to Speak Well of Your Husband, which was featured in Janet Thompson’s book, [affiliate link] Dear God, He’s Home!}

Read the Psalms this summer with Scripture Dig!


  1. Wow… There are too many to know where to start!! My husband is the most gentle, kind, considerate man I know! He cherishes me and encourages me! He is my cheerleader when I don’t believe in myself he cheers me on! He accepts me with all my flaws and thinks I am perfect!!! I am such a blessed woman to be married to my best friend!!! All I can say is I got the best man in the entire world and I never want to take him for granted!!! There is so much more but I will stop there!!

  2. TeriLynne… I am a firm believer if every married couple would love God with their whole heart submitting to His working in their life and serve one another they would have their happily ever after!!! That is God’s desire for each of us! But it takes us loving with His love putting our selfish desires on the cross!!! My husband isn’t perfect and I can’t say in the last 35+ years that I haven’t always liked him but I have never stopped loving him!! And sometimes it was only by God’s love in me but that tales me being totally committed to God and His ideas for marriage and relationships! If I follow this then being a helier and speaking kind words is an honor!! Thank you for this challenge to remind me and keep my love relationship fresh!!! I am sharing on Pinterest and in my ladies group on FB because u want everyone to experience what I do!!! Just silly that way to think it is possible for everyone!! Bkessings

  3. Corrections to auto correct…
    But that ‘takes’ me
    If I follow this then being a ‘helper’
    Don’t you just love auto correct!!! Can’t take the place of two eyes!!!

  4. It is hard to find one thing to share about my husband, but if I had to choose one, it would be that he is so genuine. He loves the Lord with his whole heart, and doesn’t pretend to be someone that he’s not. He’s the same man on church Sunday morning that he was Monday through Saturday. One thing I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older, friends and family will let you down, people change, but my precious husband is my rock and my very best friend. He is a wonderful father, husband, and friend. He is such a blessing to me! Thank you, Teri Lynn, for this wonderful blog to remind us of how to show our love for one of our most precious blessings in this life- our partner!

  5. So many things about Hugh that amazes me…aside from the fact he’s absolutely adorable and the funniest man I know, he’s a dedicated soldier and leader and has the biggest heart for those in need…but the daddy he is to his girls is just beautiful! He adores his girls and they have him wrapped around their fingers. I love to see the way he watches them with pride an hear him sing them silly songs and the sweet way he wakes them every morning before work. Makes me very proud to call him mine! Such a sweet girl daddy.

    • There is something unqiuely beautiful about a daddy and his girl/s, isn’t there? I love what you wrote, Sheryl. Such a sweet testimony to the man you love. {And such a high standard for your girls’ future husbands!!}


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