My Marriage Toolbox

It’s amazing how much easier it is to do a job well when you have the right tools. I was thinking about what “tools” I keep in my marriage toolbox … those things I use to sharpen and smooth and adjust myself in this relationship.

And, since I’m the kind of girl who likes to share with my friends, I thought I’d give you a peek inside my marriage toolbox.

1. Sharpening tools ~ These are the things that keep me focused in the right direction. I make it a habit to read on marriage regularly. Like Sandra, one of my favorite books on marriage is Sacred Marriage … this book profoundly changed the way I understand my relationship with Scott and has helped me keep the right perspective about marriage. The tagline for the book is “What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?” The best thing I can do to keep my marriage relationship strong is to keep my relationship with Christ intimate. Other books I have enjoyed on marriage include The Five Love Languages and For Women Only.

2. Smoothing tools ~ It seems like I’m awful rough around the edges sometimes and that can have a profound effect on my relationship with Scott. So, a main component in my marriage toolbox is accountability. I have a wonderful prayer partner who asks me those hard questions like, “Am I putting Scott’s needs ahead of my own?” I am also a part of a great Bible study group where we encourage one another in our marriages and pray for each other. Another one of my smoothing tools is Scripture. As many of you know I read a chapter of Proverbs every day and there are many verses in that sweet book that give me encouragement and challenge. But one of my favorites is Proverbs 31:10-12:

  • A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies
  • Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
  • She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

I consistently ask myself these questions: Am I valuable to my husband? Does he have full confidence in me? Am I bringing him good?

3. Focusing tools ~ These are those tools I use to keep my priorities in check. First, I remember that I am my husband’s helper … and while that help can take many different forms, my first priority daily is to be of support and encouragement to him. Second, I pray for him. Twice a year I use Power of a Praying Wife to guide my in-depth prayers for him. But daily, I pray for his schedule, his health, and for God’s clear presence and direction in his life. Finally, I DO things. I try to do something special for him every day … even if it’s just saying “yes” when he calls to ask me to go to town when I really need to get something else done. I try to seek opportunity every day to do something tangible to give my marriage the priority it must have in order to grow.

What about you? What tools do you keep in your marriage toolbox?
How do you keep yourself sharpened, smoothed, and focused?


image by Ali Edwards

Read the Psalms this summer with Scripture Dig!


  1. Great thoughts, Terri Lynne! I love the Proverb – "she brings him good, not harm" – I think about that often. Being a godly wife takes a whole lot of swallowed pride and being willing to be selfless in order to bring our husbands good. I feel like God has to teach me that one over and over and over again. 🙂

  2. I don't think I've commented a lot this week but all week here at "Pleaseing To You" has been so good. This post is great. So practical to think of tools to help us daily strive to be good wives. I know here lately I have seen the importance of verbaly uplifting my husband. Telling him how thankful I am that he works so hard for us. And I too enjoy reading on the subject. One of my favorites is 'Love and Respect'. Have you ever read it and if so I'd love to hear your thoughts.

  3. Love and Respect By Emerson Eggerichs. Great book! Made a huge difference in how I view my husband and my marriage.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge