December 29, 2006
Scott’s in the hospital – since Wednesday. I’m stressed out and not managing very well, at least not like I’d like to. I wish I had more composure – so that even when I’m stressed, I could still manage to keep it together.
Lord, take care of my husband, He’s Yours – I know that. I’m scared to lose him, scared of life without him – but I DO trust You. I believe, Lord, help my unbelief.
A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control. Proverbs 29:11
Father, today, I ask for a double portion of wisdom – to keep my mouth shut! Lord, keep my mouth from evil and my tongue from speaking guile. Change me – only you can … I lay myself down.
I’ve heard it said that when we are pressed the hardest, what is deepest inside us is what spills out. Sadly, I look back and realize how many times I let anger and fear control my speech and actions during the time that Scott was fighting for life. But, I also read my journal and the notes and cards I received during that period and realize that God was at work in me and was using me … in spite of me.
While I am still not completely self-controlled, I do find that I am far better able to function out of Him than I was even a few years ago. I’m so thankful that God continues to work in us … in spite of us.
Living in the Construction Zone,
As I read this I was struck by the fact that even though you felt out of control… what you were speaking to yourself was truth…His truth. Sometimes I think that's half the battle… what we feel. If, during the rockier roads, I can just keep truth…His truth in front of me. A verse… or passage… or even a song that speaks His words it's goes a long way in keeping myself, word, thought and deed under control.
oh I hope your husband is going to be ok. That is such a hard and difficult place to be in.
take care of you in this process, rest a bit if you can,take a hot relaxing shower or bath, sip a hot cup of tea, find a friend to talk with. God will be in the midst of your situation. I know he will give you the strength to get through.