Dear Teri,
You’ve said some pretty ridiculous things about parenting! In fact, there have been a few occasions when I wish I could have taped your mouth shut.
For example, you might have forgotten saying, “We believe it is our job to protect our daughter. Therefore, we will never put her in public school.” {How’d that whole foot taste as you choked it down?}
The point isn’t, though, that your girl is now in public school.
The thing is you’re learning to understand that there is rarely only one answer to any parenting dilemma. What works for your family may not work for another. In fact, what works for your family today may not work for your family tomorrow.
It’s easy to feel trapped by our declarations early on of what kind of parent we’re going to be. Don’t!!
You’ve made some silly statements about what “good parenting” looks like and you’ve often set yourself up for failure. Let it go. Give yourself grace and when you need to – change the plan! You can change your mind about how to handle any given situation. It’s okay.
I guess the thing I most want you to understand is this: You’re going to grow up as a mom while your daughter grows up. And as we grow up, we learn to see things differently. Our perspective changes and, hopefully, we get wiser and more grace-filled.
You can change your mind! You can see a better way and do it … even if you swore you never would. Because the bottom line is, the goal isn’t being right or perfect, it’s raising a child who seeks the Lord and sees you doing the same.
Love, Teri
This is an awesome post, Teri! Just wonderful. Honestly, there are times before when I’ve said, “I’d like mustard and ketchup with my words, please” because I’ve had to eat so many. Thanks for the reminder to show grace to myself as well as to others. 🙂
We are so bad at giving ourselves grace, aren’t we? Tough lesson to learn.
Yes, I hear you! There have been so many things that sounded like *the* best way to do things at the time (ahem, cloth diapers) that just did not work for our family. Of course, the discipline issues and guidance issues are more my struggles these days, and the hardest part for me, with girls starting to get older is knowing when to back off a bit and let them fight their own battles.
It does feel like it gets harder to know exactly what to do as they get older, doesn’t it? So glad to have you as part of my “mom team.”