Lent undid me this year. It pressed in on my heart in ways I hadn’t expected. Revealed layers of hurt and anger I thought had long since been healed and left behind. All my reading and study over the past six weeks have led me to a strange, uncertain place. The knots of stubbornness and pride are tight … and I find myself resisting the untying process I know is necessary.
The one word that keeps hanging in the air around me is humility. As I read familiar verses from Philippians this morning, my throat tightened and the voice of conviction brought to mind words and attitudes of the past few days. All the moments when I willfully made myself most significant, when I didn’t even notice others much less consider their interests.
I filled my journal with confession and realized that was the easy part. It’s the repenting, the turning and going the opposite direction, that will challenge me.
I’m memorizing Philippians 2:3-4 this month and I’m praying they will become a guide for me as I live beyond Lent. We’ll spend the next few Mondays looking at this idea of “but in humility.” I’d love for you to join me as I learn what it is to be less significant.
How is humility hard for you?
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Yes, this word “humility” is one that needs revisiting … often. I’ve spent a lot of time studying this word, and the converse of it … “pride.” The funny thing is … there aren’t a lot of books on pride and humility because it’s not a very popular topic. Interesting, huh?
Denise, yes … pride. Ouch. Tough topics and tougher lessons, that’s what I’m finding.
My husband & I laughingly share the old country song, “O Lord it’s hard to be humble when you’re perfect in every way”. And yet there is so much truth in it. So often we just know if the world ran according to us all would be well, isn’t that the truth? At least it is for me. I thank you for sharing your struggles honestly, and in doing so allowing me to be open about mine. That is something that I did ot grow up with. I grew up with “be perfect or be judeged”. So being honest, and humble about my life, my struggles, my imperfections does not come easy. I look forward to growing as I share with you through the blog.
Mary, I love what you wrote! So true … if only everyone was like me. 🙂 Thank you for opening up and being willing to share your struggles as well.
It’s funny you should bring up the word humility, the same week I was thinking of something in a similar vein. It seems like it is easy to go from feeling insignificant to be concerned that one’s motives might turn towards having “the big head.” I like that you feel it necessary to look at the word “humility.” I am glad you brought this up.
I look forward to journeying with you as we explore this word.
This has been a theme for me the past year. I think God is so good to bring our feelings to the surface and to our attention. It’s when we have a broken heart, that He often finds us ready. With you, & I’ll be signing up for the posts.
Sweet LauraLee, so glad you popped in this little space today. Looking forward to walking this road with you.
The phrase But in Humility almost becomes a breath prayer.
I read last summer a paraphrase of a prayer by John of the Cross: make me invisible, Lord
thought provoking post that spoke to my heart. Thanks Teri
I have felt this way too, especially when given a compliment about something I was doing, because of service in the name of Jesus. Yet, how can we be totally invisible? Actually, I’m not sure that God wants us to feel invisible, because we are reminded in scripture that not only does He know how many hairs are on each of our head, but He also knows how many tears we have shed. Not even we know that about ourselves. I had a hard time knowing how to answer a comment on my blog Tuesday, because it was so complimentary, that I felt embarrassed. Crazy huh? I wanted to answer, but I had to wait, because I know me and my faults; and I knew I needed to answer with humility. it’s sort of funny, because it was nice to be seen in the glow that God gives, yet I felt unworthy. Does that make sense?
I didn’t quite explain about knowing God wants us to feel invisible, because don’t we think of people that feel invisible as people that have low self-esteem. I think God wants us to make each other feel visible, and He makes us feel visible, yet with humility. That’s what fellowship does as we love on one another.