Marriage Prayers, Twenty Years, and Becoming One

Marriage Prayers, Twenty Years, and Becoming One || reflections of 20 years of marriage

Marriage Prayers, Twenty Years, and Becoming One || reflections of 20 years of marriage

We managed to write the full #MarriagePrayers series … and we still like each other.

Today is our twentieth anniversary and I really wanted to write one of those posts that goes viral because it’s so funny or heartfelt but the truth is, I’m still trying to figure out how we’re even old enough to have been married twenty years. {I mean, when I look in the mirror and see the wrinkles and stretch marks it’s clear I’m not that 24-year-old, size 0 girl who walked down the aisle … but how did we get to be almost 45??}

We shared a lot of the past twenty years in the posts we wrote last month. So now I’m wondering what the next twenty years will hold. Will Casiday really never marry and all I’ll have is grandcats? {Yes, this is her current threat when I get annoyed with her.}  Will we have that big front porch I’ve always dreamed of? Will it still take my breath away when Scott walks into a room? {I’m sure the answer to this one is yes!} Will I have given up the battle with the gray and stop coloring my hair? {And I’m sure the answer to this one is no!} Will we have done the things we’re dreaming about now?

Those two kids who got married on June 1, 1996, could never have imagined the road they’d travel over these past 20 years. And now we look ahead to the next twenty years with the same expectancy and excitement. We’ve seen the amazing things God has done, lived in the wonder of all He’s given us, and known the comfort of His never-failing presence. We’ve faced every challenge together and shared every success. We’ve fought and we’ve made up. We’ve laughed and we’ve cried. We’ve prayed through long nights and we’ve joked through long days. He’s cooked and I’ve cleaned. He’s sung and I’ve written. We’ve done ministry together and we’ve supported each other as we’ve done it individually. We’ve dreamed about the future, we’ve cherished the past, and we’ve loved the present.

In Ephesians 5:31, Paul says of a husband and wife, “the two shall become one flesh.” It’s a beautiful picture of the bond God desires between a married couple. Of course, there’s a physical component to that but it’s so much more. We know each other’s likes and dislikes. I know before he even says anything if he’s had a bad day. He can tell by my voice on the phone if I’m worried about something. I know what will make him laugh and he knows just which drink at Sonic will make me happiest on any given day. We know each other’s deepest fears and insecurities. We know the insecurities the other never speaks and the dreams we can’t yet say aloud. When I succeed, it’s his success and vice versa. When he is hurt, I ache and the same is true for him.

The twenty years we've shared, the life we've built, the testimony we've shown — it's a picture of the perfect love of Christ for His Bride. So, really, the big deal isn't our twenty years ... it's the hope of eternity with Him! And of all the things I'm thankful for regarding Scott and our marriage, the one I cherish most is this: Scott's love and devotion to me pales in comparison to his love and devotion to the Lord. That is what has held us together, that is what makes our love stronger — it's not rooted in two selfish people but in the very God who gave His only begotten Son.

Today we celebrate twenty years as husband and wife. It’s a big deal. Marriages that last, that weather the storms, that don’t give up when it’s hard, that choose to stay are always a big deal. Paul wrote regarding marriage, “This mystery is profound, and whatI I am saying is that it refers to Christ and the church.” (Ephesians 5:32) This love Scott and I share, this commitment we’ve made, this covenant we embrace between each other and with God, it’s so much bigger than us. The twenty years we’ve shared, the life we’ve built, the testimony we’ve shown — it’s a picture of the perfect love of Christ for His Bride. So, really, the big deal isn’t our twenty years … it’s the hope of eternity with Him!

And of all the things I’m thankful for regarding Scott and our marriage, the one I cherish most is this: Scott’s love and devotion to me pales in comparison to his love and devotion to the Lord. That is what has held us together, that is what makes our love stronger — it’s not rooted in two selfish people but in the very God who gave His only begotten Son.

If you only remember one thing about Scott and me and everything we’ve shared, I hope it’s this: You are dearly loved by the God of all creation and He longs for a personal, intimate relationship with you. {And if you want to know more about what means, please send me an email. I’d love to tell you more. teri (at) terilynneunderwood (dot) com}

xo,

Teri Lynne

images courtesy of Brooke Entrekin

2 Replies to “Marriage Prayers, Twenty Years, and Becoming One”

  1. Congratulations on 20 years! Having just passed the 25-year mark and knowing how RARE it is to keep it going past just a handful of years, I’m so in awe and impressed by God.

    PS: I’m giving up hair coloring when I turn 50. Not before.

    1. Yes, marriages that last to 20 years and beyond are becoming more and more rare. Congratulations on your 25 years!

      P.S. I doubt I’ll ever give up coloring. Though Casiday keeps trying to convince me to go ahead and color it all gray since that’s one of the “in” colors right now.

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