Quiet Submission

I *think* this is the last post on submission in marriage for a bit … next week, we’ll move on to submission as parents – which I’m afraid may be even more challenging in some ways.  {I’ve got a tween, y’all, and every day parenting gets more and more confusing and complex.  E.V.E.R.Y. D.A.Y.}

As we wrap up this idea of being courteously reverent in our marriages, let me recap some of the questions we’ve looked at so far:

Today, we’ll take a peek at a passage of Scripture that has radically changed my perceptions and beliefs about myself … and has led to some moments of great frustration and desperate confession.   These two verses have given me pause on many occasions and led to more fervent prayers than almost any other passage in the Bible.

These verses challenge me to trust God’s work in me and through me … and to long for and embrace transformation.  These verses are not from Proverbs 31 nor is the word “submit” in them.  But they are tough …

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.  Instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.  1 Peter 3:3-4

I memorized these verses with my mentor group several years ago and almost daily they echo through my mind.

My aunt has said one of the mantras of her childhood was, “Pretty is as pretty does.”  And I think that’s the point of these verses … Beauty, the kind that reflects Christ, isn’t seen with eyes but with heart.  This beauty isn’t easy and it certainly doesn’t come naturally.

My husband has said I am the only beautiful woman he has ever seen.  Almost every time he greets me he says, “Hey beautiful!”  And every time he speaks the word beauty into my life I am reminded of this calling from the Lord to a greater beauty – a beauty of grace and kindness, of gentleness and quiet.

This type of beauty models submission … to the Lord, to my husband, and – as we’ll explore next week – to everyone.  And it all starts with simply being polite.

How are you growing heart-beauty in your life?

Seeking Him,

Read the Psalms this summer with Scripture Dig!


  1. I've enjoyed all these posts on submission! Thanks for writing on what is a topic that is so misunderstood! You truly are a gifted teacher and writer!

    heart beauty – love that phrase!

    "pretty is as pretty does" is a saying my great granny used to say! That made me smile when I read it in this post.


  1. […] in-depth contemplations of submission – where we discover that broken down to simplest terms, submission begins by simply being polite.   For more of my thoughts on this sacred-secular collision, please feel download my *free* […]

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