It happens in every marriage. Sometimes it is something silly but sometimes it is something significant. He sees the situation one way, she sees it another. That’s real life, y’all … and our marriages, our Christian marriages, are not immune from disagreement.
But how does submission work into that? The struggle we all have, huh? I can’t even count how many blog posts I’ve read concerning this type of thing. Because it’s a big deal! As we grow in our faith and as we desire to apply biblical teaching, submitting when we disagree can be (and often is) a monumental hurdle to overcome.
Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 1 Peter 3:1-2 NIV
The same goes for you wives: Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God, will be captivated by your life of holy beauty. 1 Peter 3:1-2 The Message
Yes, this passage is specifically written to women whose husbands are unbelievers. If you are living in that situation please know that I realize your struggle in this area can be even more significant! I’ve written about righteous submission to an unrighteous man before … and hope that those words might be an encouragement to you.
But for the rest of us, I believe there are some truths we can glean from these verses as well. There are times when we are on “different pages” spiritually than our husbands. The road to maturity is walked out uniquely by each believer and there are times when we may have the greater insight into a particular situation. And there are going to be those moments when we are right and he is not.
This verse speaks to that!! “They may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives.” Peterson says, they may be “captivated by your life of holy beauty.”
When we disagree – and we will! – we need to remember this: Words matter, but attitudes matter more. Our submission, our courteously reverent behavior, will point to God … and isn’t that really the point?
I challenge you to ask yourself this question the next time you and your husband disagree: Is it more important for him to agree with me or to seek God?
Ladies, we can win the battle but lose the war! And it. is. not. worth. it. Period.
Submissive love begins with with simple courtesy – being polite. And being polite doesn’t push or demand. Being polite gives grace, speaks kindly, and pursues one mind.
There is a courtesy of the heart; it is allied to love. From it springs the purest courtesy in the outward behavior. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
How will you disagree?