I must confess that my own life is ever torn by my desire to be a writer of significance and my desire to be nothing more than a soul who wants to discover God’s agenda for my life – one minute at a time. Calvin MillerFinished book proposal – July 2010. My dream.
How I long to write words that matter … words on this screen, words in my newspaper column each week, words for magazines and books. Words that influence, challenge, inspire, encourage … words that impact.
But what if the words that matter are not the words written or even the words spoken. What if the only words that matter are the words I live.
Maybe, just maybe, God’s agenda for my life has nothing to do what what I do … maybe His agenda surpasses actions, accomplishments, and activity. Maybe His agenda is deeper …
I appeal to you therefore, brethren, and beg of you in view of [all] the mercies of God, to make a decisive dedication of your bodies [presenting all your members and faculties] as a living sacrifice, holy (devoted, consecrated) and well pleasing to GOd, which is your reasonable (rational, intelligent) service and spiritual worship. Romans 12:1 AMP
Decisive dedication of my body … all of it – physical, mental, emotional, spiritual.
Slowly I am finding that my search for significance is not found outside but rather deep within. We – I! – tend to get lost in the noise of affirmation and approval. Comments, page views, notes of encouragement, speaking opportunities, teaching bigger groups … noise!
The noise bangs and clangs and echoes in my mind. But it doesn’t satisfy, doesn’t fill, doesn’t last.
“Go out and stand before me on the mountain,” the Lord told him. And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the win there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper. 1 Kings 19:11-12 emphasis added
Can we discover God’s agenda in the wind or the earthquake or the fire? Maybe … but maybe those are the tools He uses to get our attention, not to show us His plan.
The sound of a gentle whisper.
That’s where the agenda discovery happens. It’s in the getting still before Him (Psalm 46:10) and in the fresh mercies every morning (Lamentations 3:23).
Discovering Him, resting in Him, knowing Him … trusting that HE IS ENOUGH.
What is God whispering to Your spirit? Where is He moving your heart, your thoughts, your longings? That, friend, is His agenda for you. Maybe you – I! – need to spend some time in the quiet. Moving away from the wind and the earthquake and the fire, the noise of life, and be still before the Lord … be still to KNOW that He is God. And then to listen …