I had an ugly cry a few weeks ago. The kind that gives you a headache and leaves your eyes puffy for a couple of days … yeah, that kind of ugly cry. I was mad and hurt and frustrated and utterly helpless.
As tears rolled down my face, words streamed from my lips:
Lord, why? Why this? Why now? Haven’t we all been through enough? This hurts too deep. And, God, this just isn’t fair. Where are You? Where is Your hand in this? What good can possibly come from this pain?
In the midst of my own Job-like questioning, I cried out to the Lord with the agony that can only come from someone who has tasted His goodness, known His grace, experienced His joy … because somehow knowing those gifts made this unspeakable sorrow hurt deeper.
“Why?” was my heart’s cry.
As the sobs ebbed and the teary flow slowed, the hurts, the anger, the wondering “why?” didn’t cease. I’ve learned this Christian life isn’t like that … the questions don’t always disappear, the ugly cry isn’t always resolved, the “why’s” are not always answered.
But this God of ours, this Friend who sticks closer than a brother, this One who prays over us at all times, this Forgiver of sin, is also the Catcher of tears. He counts them, numbering our heartaches as His own.
When we ache for understanding, He promises us peace.
When we pray for wisdom, He gives generously.
When we long for healing, He offers restoration.
As we draw ever closer to the darkness of Good Friday, maybe you are in need of this God who catches tears? Perhaps you have wandered from His presence and long to return … He welcomes you home. Maybe you are battling fear or doubt or anger or grief … He offers peace and healing. Perhaps you simply aren’t sure about this Word-Made-Flesh … He offers you salvation.
Wherever you are, whatever the cause of your tears, there is a holy God who collects each one and He loves you.
When have you experienced the grace of this God who catches tears?
Below is a video of one of my longtime favorite songs, “He Knows My Name.” Today, ponder with me, if you will, this God who knows your name and sees each tear that falls.
Amanda says
This post really resonated with me. I’ve been struggling with finding my way back lately. I’ve blogged about it. I’ve spent nights twisting the thoughts around in my head. Tinkering with prayer. Throwing my hands up in frustration. It’s so hard. But this line “because somehow knowing those gifts made this unspeakable sorrow hurt deeper.” made my nod my head yes.
Thank you for writing. I’m not there — at least not yet. But I think I want to be. Your words are beautiful and have given me something to reflect on day after day.
Teri Lynne Underwood says
I cannot begin to say how much your kind response means to me today. Thank you for sharing a portion of your tender heart in this space … that is a treasured gift. Praying for you as you journey this hard path.
Christina Burrell says
Love this! My heart needed this reminder this week as I leave Savannah’s birth place and resting spot. Love you!
Teri Lynne Underwood says
Love you too … and praying hard for you.
Pattie says
I love that song. Thank you for the reminder…and it may be the ugly cry, but it’s so necessary to get the ugly out so He can fill the empty places within. Love you so much Teri!!!
Teri Lynne Underwood says
“It’s so necessary to get the ugly out so He can fill the empty places within.”
Yes! Thank you. And I love you so much also!
J says
Thank you for this. I truly needed this reminder. And also the video – LOVE the shot of Jesus holding a child. Thanks also for the rest, focus, enjoy message. I am in multiple challenges that you mentioned. So thank you.
Teri Lynne Underwood says
So glad this spoke to you. Thank you for your kind comment.
Kim says
So glad you posted this. I do not even know how I found this except God. I was having an ugly cry moment. I was and am still very frustrated, hurt, crushed and just tired. It is good to be reminded that my tears are not ignored but God sees every one that falls.
I know God is good, but yes sometimes the ugly cry is necessary for us to release. Thank you for reminding me God will fill me up and thank you for showing me I am not alone.