It’s a tough row to hoe, this momma-ing gig. Some days I just feel like throwing in the towel. You? {Please say you understand that feeling … it took every ounce of bravery I have to admit it and I’m terrified that no one else knows how I feel. So, help a girl out and say that you’ve realized you are not always up to the task of raising these children God has given you.}
I turned 40 this past October and while it was not as earth-shatttering to my ego as turning 20 was, I confess it’s still weird to realize I am, in fact, forty years old. I suppose I always thought by the time I was this o.l.d. I’d have a few more things figured out and a most of my insecurities whipped into line.
Now, being 40 isn’t all that bad. Besides the groaning when I try to move every morning, I don’t even mind it too much at all. But I sure do wish I had a lot more wisdom in parenting this 12-year-old daughter of mine. I look at her every day and wonder if I’m going to scar her for life or fail to teach her some lesson that will make her life better or bigger. I’m thankful – SO thankful – for those mommas with kids older than mine who remind me of the things that really matter. The friends who have “been there, done that” and know you just want to burn the t-shirt and forget it all happened. 🙂
For a while now, I’ve had it in my heart to be one of those mommas to those with kids a little younger than my own. I don’t want to be the naysayer who always says the next stage is worse – because it isn’t!
I want to be a voice of encouragement to those sweet younger moms who just want to pee without an audience. I long to be a cheerleader to the mom who is knee-deep in terrible twos and is so tired of hearing that the threes are even more challenging. I want to hold the hand of the momma who can’t bear the thought of sending her baby to school but knows the time has come. I want to laugh with the moms who haven’t slept a full night in so long that all they can do is laugh from the sheer exhaustion they face every day.
I haven’t arrived as a mother … in fact, I’ve basically decided that parenting is all theory – at least until your kids have kids of their own so you can say, “I told you so.” I lean into the Word that promises it didn’t come to stay “it came to pass.” {Yeah, that’s a little Mark Lowry reference for those of you who – like me – enjoy a little bit of old school Gaither Homecoming type humor.}
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking I’m so glad all these blogs were not in my life when my girl was little – because I’m not crafty and I get overwhelmed by how much time and energy so many women put into planning perfect days with their kids. Truthfully, I loved nap time … I needed nap time. Because I was not well-equipped to be the mother of a little one. It drained me … and I felt bad enough about that without any other voices in my head (or on my computer) adding to it.
So, today, here are ten words for the mommas – of littles, bigs, and all the in-betweens:
1. You
2. Are
3. Doing
4. A
5. Great
6. Job,
7. Mom!
8. Don’t
9. Give
10. Up!!
From my heart to yours … I mean every word!
{For more encouragement just for moms, check out my series ~ Dear Teri, Love Teri: words of grace for a momma’s heart. I’d love for you to join me as I write the letters to myself that I would love to write to each of you. In the meantime, I’ve made a little printable – Don’t Give Up – to remind you … You’re doing great!!}
What a great post and yes, I will tell you that I have the exact same feelings! Thanks for the words of encouragement!
Thank you, Deanna! I’m glad I’m not alone!!
Lovely, photo, lovely girl.
Best 10 words I’ve heard in a good while.
Stacey recently posted…Hope for the Weary Mom, in Austin, TX
You bless me … and sometimes we just need a few words to remind us of the truth. 🙂
Thanks! I needed to hear this today! And you are definitely not alone in feeling like throwing in the towel on occasion. No one told me parenting would be this hard!
We all need to say them to each other and hear them said to us! Thanks for sharing! Visiting from Top Ten Tuesday!
Christine @ MoreThanMommies recently posted…10 (Almost) Effortless Waiting Games For Your Kids
Yes … we do! On both accounts. Thank you for visiting. I love Top Ten Tuesdays.
Truly needed those words today! Dealing with a teething toddler and whiny preschooler plus being 37 weeks pregnant, I have felt completely beaten down the past two days. Sometimes I wish women could just encourage each other more. Thanks for encouraging me today! Visiting from Top 10 Tuesday.
Oh Keri!! You probably are one of the moms who just would like to pee without an audience, huh? Praying especially for you today … because this season you are in – it’s hard!! Really hard and exhausting. And you are doing great!!!!
Teri, I wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed reading this blog. I am not a mother, but I am a godmother to 10 of the most incredible children in the world. My godchildren range in age from 13 to 7 months. My second to youngest godchild, Karen, is 3 years old today. It’s good to know the 3’s will be just as challenging as the 2’s. I look forward to holding my friend’s hand as she raises this amazing, yet mischievous, little girl and her 7 month old sister. She truly is a blessing as is my one mom! 🙂
Thank you, Karen! I appreciate your kind words. It is a gift to be “another mother” in the lives of children. Thank you for sharing your story with me.
Good word, Teri. I love your heart for encouraging younger mothers – and those like me…the older mothers.
And yeah…I’ve decided parenting is so much more about who I am that what I do (or don’t do). If I am growing and maturing in Christ (and modeling that for my kids), my parenting can’t help but improve. But if I’m not modeling a true, vibrant relationship with the Lord, all my attempts at good parenting will come to nothing. No amount of crafty creativity can mask or substitute for the lessons, good or bad, they will learn as they watch my life.
UGH…so much for proof reading. The first line should say “who I am THAN what I do”.
Oh Natalie … you are one of those moms I watch. Not because you are older … but your kids are older than mine. We’re both still very young … far too young to have children as old as ours are. 🙂
And this – “if I’m not modeling a true, vibrant relationship with the Lord, all my attempts at good parenting will come to nothing” – this is the truth that so many people are missing!!
I think it’s missing for a couple of reasons. First, we underestimate how much kids will simply “catch” vs how much we can actively teach. Second, we simply don’t want it to be true. It seemed like less work to read the right books and blogs, do a-b-c, and believe we will get x-y-z results rather than do the really heavy lifting of examining my own sinful life and growing and maturing in the Lord. Don’t get me wrong, I love books and blogs…but they must translate into more than head knowledge in my life.
Slinking back into my little corner of the world now…
I love when you come out of your corner to share on my blog … I think I should make you a regular feature around here!!
Love it! This was exactly what I needed to hear today! Thank you!
oh, phooey!! some days I think it’s easier to just give up!! I keep wondering if I will ever have a day where I choose right more than I choose wrong…
and as much as I appreciated the words you shared today, I would love to hear them from my husband!
Julie Anne recently posted…Have you been redeemed?
Fantastic post!!!!
I turned 40 last July and I thought too that by then I would be much more secure. I am more relaxed but still have my I am not doing a good enough job moments.